Imaginary Love

Is there a deliberate effort taken by the media these days to disillusion people on LOVE?

Problem Statement

Enough is enough. Too many intelligent people and not so intelligent people likewise have fallen into the web of lie that the media has spun. The media has corrupted the idea of LOVE, a noun that used to be simple and uncomplicated, and has seen to be exaggerating and greatly mis-informing the public. The cause is unimportant, what matters is the effect. People, are, becoming dissapointed and wasting a lot of damned time on this. And they only have themselves to blame for.

But Why?

it's because from a tender age we are exposed to a great deal on relationships. Everything from TV to books have been sub-conciously brain washing us. Of course you would deny this claim. Have you ever seen a victim of madness admit he was mad? The analogy is similarly applied.

We are instructed on how relationships function. Men are subjected to being romantic and always the party to woo the skirts away under the woman's feet. And the woman was the subject of all adoration and envy. Sure a few conflicts were thrown in here and there, but most are resolved without much intelligence, relying purely on chance and the horrible notion that: if we were meant to be, we'd find a way.

All bullshit. my anger stems from the fact that this creates prejudices within us that we are unaware of. Women become increasingly dissapointed because of this fantasy thinking that the men of their dreams are just going to whisk by and sweep them off their feets. But in reality, relationships are filled with distrust, a lot of hard work and HUGE dollop of faith that the media has failed to educate them about. The result? A lot of dissapointed women and men alike, wasting their times on issues solved within a day.

The Evidence

One simple example to illustrate a simple point. it sickens me how many awards the book-adopted Twilight movie has won, and the amount of cash it's rolling in at the box office. If anything, Twilight is a celebrated example of professional American marketing. And folks are swallowing it up like garbage.

Twilight is set on a fantasy, and the problem with this is that the fantasy instills a lie. Bella, is projected to survive through unbelievable circumstances and somehow manages to pull through everytime. She even has two suitors, the irresistable Edward Cullen and the dark handsome Jacob Black. Here we already have one horrible mistake. The disillusion that it's possible to be so coveted, two men were willing to go all out to be yours.

But is the situation honestly such in life? Maybe. I haven't the liberty to talk to everyone on this planet, so maybe a few exceptions exist. But in reality, it's tough even to get one love interest. Let alone two, and VERY handsome ones at that. The problem with this situation is that women begin to delude themselves that they are owed a happy ending by the men they love. and when they fail to perform, they become dissapointed. It puts horrible expectations into the dreamers mind, expectations that are unmet 90% of the time in reality.

Another disgusting example. When faced with such a ridiculous situation, the man is portrayed to be willing to be subjected into a life he didn't choose (that is to have a baby). All in the name of love. I understand that love is supposed to be all-out and fully forgiving; but these two have only met shy under two weeks. Is it too much to say : it's just too much? No wonder people are jumping so much into marriages and then divorce these days. LUST is mistaken for commitment and we all jump the gun without facing problems first. 

The evidences are many, and plentiful. Take some time to review all the books and movies you've seen on love. You will understand the common theme surrounding most, if not all of them


 : that love conquers all problems effortlessly.

a lie, packaged with a pink bow on top. and it sells.

The Truth Then?

Love and the quest to find it is a lot of HARD WORK. if you're lazy and only willing to sit back to allow all the beautiful things shower you, you're on a fast track to dissapointment. Plenty of real references depict love to be difficult and a life changing process. This is what you should expect : finding someone to share your life with is a process filled with work, and you must be willing to commit.


A friend once talked to me about her relationship, how she seemed to be dating the same kind of guys all leading to the same kind of disappointment. I agreed with her, but what didn't click was that we spend too much of our time blaming others for our mishaps. Surely, after several guys; the problem couldn't rest entirely on them... maybe something was wrong with ourselves.


Close examination and reading led me to conclude such : when it comes to relationships, disappointment  usually stems from expectations. We are raised to expect certain things of our significant other; and i'm not saying theres anything particularly wrong with that; but it's how far we allow these expectations to manifest.

"Contrary to the pop-psych preachings of our modern era, freedom does not come from letting it all hang out or taking a devil-may-care attitude. Freedom comes from triumphing over your emotions and proving to yourself that you can be the master of your destiny. When you allow your emotions to rule, you subject yourself to emotional enslavement, and never is a person less free than when he is enslaved by his emotions" 

Robert Ringer, author of 10 habits of highly sucessful people 

Robert Ringer may be referring to attitudes related to venturing in a business, but I find his concept highly applicable here. When dealing with relationships, the idea is to master your emotions; corny as it sounds, in the name of love. You MUST learn to be tolerant of the person you hold dear, flaws and all. And this is not just saying it, you MUST practice it. Doing otherwise would be as pointless as trying to fight with reality. So your boyfriend is a cheating scum, you decide whether you want to allow him to continually drain you (because he is so perfect otherwise) or leave him for good. Don't try to wonder why he is like that, or how you can change him. Doing so is fighting against reality, which is FAR from your control, and very very frustrating.


so much of 'media love' is full of the converse. So much happens by chance, so much relies on one person tending to the whims of the other; little is said about the love interest. Real people have minds on their own, and are subjected to their rights to think on their own two feet. When you try to force your prejudiced way of thinking on how they should behave when with you, thats when problems arise.


throw away your 'twilight' thinking. so sorry to burst your bubble, but it ain't going to happen like that. but luckily for you, real relationships are much better and last much longer. I will write more about them in my next post.


i'm tired and i want to do this post justice, so stay tune for part 2